Unfortunately, I don't have any straightforward ‘do this’ or ‘do that’ answers. But, I do have some insight into what NOT to do. As much as I hate to admit it, these “what not to do” moments of clarity were born from personal experiences. Of course they can also be found abundantly in the Book of Job. Because, let’s face it, things haven't really changed as much as we'd like to think in a few thousand years.
Ok, here’s the scenario (you can read along in Chapters 1 and 2 if you'd like). Job lost everything: livestock, family, health (that isn't necessarily in order of importance). Except his life.
And Job has these friends, right? These “friends” decide they are going to give him some advice, try to cheer him up, you know…a little friendly intervention. I’m sure that, in their minds, Job’s friends had good intentions and all, but boy were they hitting the head of that nail a little left of center. Without a doubt, these friends had a questionable view of God and I’m not even going to mention their distinct lack of tactfulness…ok, maybe I am. They really needed a little sensitivity training. An HR department would have had a field day with these guys.
So, these friends were “cheering” him up, but it seems to me that they made a couple of mistakes in their attempt to do so. Their first mistake was one we all make at times. They assumed they could relate to Job’s situation. AS IF! I mean, really. This guy just lost EVERYTHING. Not just his home, not just a child, not just a part of his health, but ALL OF THESE THINGS. Everything! And these friends acted as if they understood. (insert dramatic eye roll here) I’m pretty certain I wouldn't know how Job felt. I wouldn't even be able to begin to imagine how it would feel to lose everything.
On top of that, they made light of his pain (Ch. 11). Seriously?!?! They tell Job that if he would just repent to God then maybe he would be vindicated. Wow. Really? So essentially, they are just telling Job that they know he had to have done something to bring this upon himself. What kind of friends were these people anyway? They may as well have just said, “Job, stop lying about the fact that you haven't done anything wrong and admit it so God will stop torturing you for being such a terrible Christian.”
I don't know about you, but if I were Job, I feel confident they wouldn't be getting Christmas cards this year.
Which brings me to the moral of the story. A phrase we've all had burned to memory: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” I can't help but wonder how Job’s friends would have wanted to be treated if the roles had been reversed. I’m sure they didn't think of that.
As friends, we will never be perfect. After all, we're human. However, we can treat our friends the way we would want them to treat us in a similar situation. With love, compassion, understanding, and a strong dose of sensitivity. There will be times when we are faced with a friend who is suffering, a friend who is hurting, a friend who has lost something or someone. And maybe we can’t truly relate. Maybe we can’t know how they really feel, but we can be there for them. We can pray for them and with them. We can show them the kind of love that God shows us when we need a friend. Take a lesson from Job’s friends (a what NOT to do lesson, that is) and do for that friend what you would want a friend to do for you.
Ok, here’s the scenario (you can read along in Chapters 1 and 2 if you'd like). Job lost everything: livestock, family, health (that isn't necessarily in order of importance). Except his life.
And Job has these friends, right? These “friends” decide they are going to give him some advice, try to cheer him up, you know…a little friendly intervention. I’m sure that, in their minds, Job’s friends had good intentions and all, but boy were they hitting the head of that nail a little left of center. Without a doubt, these friends had a questionable view of God and I’m not even going to mention their distinct lack of tactfulness…ok, maybe I am. They really needed a little sensitivity training. An HR department would have had a field day with these guys.
So, these friends were “cheering” him up, but it seems to me that they made a couple of mistakes in their attempt to do so. Their first mistake was one we all make at times. They assumed they could relate to Job’s situation. AS IF! I mean, really. This guy just lost EVERYTHING. Not just his home, not just a child, not just a part of his health, but ALL OF THESE THINGS. Everything! And these friends acted as if they understood. (insert dramatic eye roll here) I’m pretty certain I wouldn't know how Job felt. I wouldn't even be able to begin to imagine how it would feel to lose everything.
On top of that, they made light of his pain (Ch. 11). Seriously?!?! They tell Job that if he would just repent to God then maybe he would be vindicated. Wow. Really? So essentially, they are just telling Job that they know he had to have done something to bring this upon himself. What kind of friends were these people anyway? They may as well have just said, “Job, stop lying about the fact that you haven't done anything wrong and admit it so God will stop torturing you for being such a terrible Christian.”
I don't know about you, but if I were Job, I feel confident they wouldn't be getting Christmas cards this year.
Which brings me to the moral of the story. A phrase we've all had burned to memory: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” I can't help but wonder how Job’s friends would have wanted to be treated if the roles had been reversed. I’m sure they didn't think of that.
As friends, we will never be perfect. After all, we're human. However, we can treat our friends the way we would want them to treat us in a similar situation. With love, compassion, understanding, and a strong dose of sensitivity. There will be times when we are faced with a friend who is suffering, a friend who is hurting, a friend who has lost something or someone. And maybe we can’t truly relate. Maybe we can’t know how they really feel, but we can be there for them. We can pray for them and with them. We can show them the kind of love that God shows us when we need a friend. Take a lesson from Job’s friends (a what NOT to do lesson, that is) and do for that friend what you would want a friend to do for you.
