Lay it down... (it's all about forgiveness)

I've been surrounded by the topic of forgiveness lately.  It seems like everywhere I turn God is opening up a door for me to hear about it, talk about it, or write about it.  I have to admit, I’m a little concerned. Past experience tells me to run and hide.  There’s a storm a comin’.  Yeah.  Sometimes when God starts pointing certain things out to me, it’s because He’s preparing me for the onslaught. Sometimes it’s simply that He wants me to share with others, plant a seed, or help relieve their hearts in some way.  And with that thought in mind, I share a little about my own journey with forgiveness.

You see, I have been through more in my life than most people are aware of.  I may not come across as such, but in many ways, I'm a very private person.  Yes, I'm outgoing and often the life of the party. I wear my heart on my sleeve, but that doesn't mean I share the innermost secrets of that heart with just anyone.  In fact, for many years, I struggled with what had happened to my life, my marriage, my faith. I wasn't one of those people that you could see the signs of my struggle, though.  No, I was the clever one – the one who put on a brilliant smile for the world but then cried herself to sleep at night.  And after a certain amount of time, some days I really wasn't even sure why I was crying.

It was obvious why when I saw families together.  When I glanced at the innocent smile of a baby.  Watched soon-to-be parents together.  Played with my own children.  I was ashamed.  Deep down, I knew that I had failed my family, my children, myself and God.  In so many ways.  I felt guilty, weighed down by my past.  Haunted by choices I'd made.

And here’s the part that didn't make sense.  I knew God had forgiven me. But I couldn't find it in my heart to forgive myself.

I don't know how it is that we often can't forgive ourselves for our sins, failures, and shortcomings.  I’m sure there are a thousand reasons why.  Maybe because of how we were raised, maybe we don't grasp the true concept of repentance and grace.  Or maybe we are just human and struggle to forgive easily.  But as Christians, we have to learn to walk the walk and live a life of forgiveness. We have to willingly forgive anyone who sins against us.  Including ourselves. And that’s often the hardest person to forgive.  The one staring back at you every morning in the mirror.

It’s funny how it’s easier to forgive someone else.

My moment of truth came when God smacked me in the head with the truth.  Okay, it was a figurative smack. But it really got my attention.  While praying, once again asking forgiveness, the thought that came to me was crystal clear. It was almost like someone had verbally asked me: “Do you think you are better than God?”

It hit me hard. Of course I didn't think I was better than God.  What a ridiculous notion.  But the thought continued, “If God considers the death and bloodshed of Jesus enough to forgive you, then what gives you the right to say it isn’t enough?  By not forgiving yourself when you know God has forgiven you, you're being awfully arrogant about how much better you think your decision is when God said His way is sufficient.”

I won't lie.  That kinda hurt.  Really hit me in the gut.

As much as we would like to, we can't go back and correct our mistakes.  However, we can make a decision to learn from them and start forgiving ourselves.

God wants you to be free from guilt, free from depression, free from the past.  Scripture says, “old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new...” (2 Corinthians 5:17).

It doesn't matter what you've done. Big.  Small.  No matter what your story is: rape, murder, theft, lying, cheating, adultery, addictions, etc; when you repented and asked for forgiveness the first time, God forgave you.  You can know that even before the foundations of the world were laid, He knew what your mistakes and downfalls would be – your sins, weaknesses, addictions – they all were nailed to that cross with Him 2,000 years ago.  He did it all so that we could know forgiveness.

And forgiveness puts it all in a new perspective. Yes, it still happened. But God detaches it from us, sends it as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12). We are no longer covered in guilt; we are covered in mercy, spared from the punishment that was ours to take.

Maybe you are still carrying around the shame. Maybe you've been trying to forgive yourself, but the realization that you can't undo the past keeps eating at you. You've said you're sorry. You've changed. But the guilt, the burden, remains.

Once you repent, God doesn’t hold it against you or bring it up when you make mistakes. No. God forgives completely. There might be times when you don't feel like you're forgiven, and you struggle to forgive yourself.  But don't fall into that trap. Feelings can be deceiving. 

What I've learned is this: Forgiving yourself is a decision. One you sometimes have to make over and over.  And it’s not an easy one.  I know…I've been there.  But, God says “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28).”

Take it to God and lay it down.  It's not your burden to carry any longer.

The Sixth Sense of Christianity

It was recently brought to my attention that most people aren’t like me. I know, I know…no major news flash there, but the person was referring to how I perceive the supernatural realm. He pointed out to me that most people aren’t as fearless in their view of what’s going on around them. He reminded me that most people don’t comprehend the concept of legions of demonic entities stalking around us daily and most don’t want to.

It started my wheels turning.

He’s right.

Most people don’t really have a grasp of the spiritual warfare that encircles us at every moment of the day. We walk around in a perpetual fog. Don’t get me wrong; I do feel that most Christians are aware of spiritual warfare. After all, the Bible reveals to us that there is an unseen spiritual realm that affects the physical world. Satan and his demons are waging a vicious spiritual battle all around us, trying to prevent people from coming to a saving knowledge of God’s love and entering His kingdom. Their sole focus is to defeat God’s plans for our lives. As Christians, we needto know about this spiritual battle. 2 Corinthians 2:11 tells us that we need to be aware of the devil's schemes so that he doesn’t have the chance to overcome us. Without awareness, we cannot stand against the wickedness that we face, we cannot protect ourselves, our loved ones, and our ministries. God commands us to stand. He commands us to protect that which He has given us to protect. Ephesians 6:11-20 gives us that commandment when we are told to “Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.” If we are blind to the battle and unaware of what is going on around us simply because we cannot openly see it, then it becomes easy for Satan to deceive us in cunning, subtle ways and to prevent us from being effective at doing the work God intends for us.

So how do we make so many aware who don’t want to be aware? Once again, God gives us the answer. He tells us in Ephesians 4:15 to“speak the truth in love.” Realistically every Christian, every person, isn’t going to grasp fully the reality of the supernatural battles raging in their lives. What they likely can grasp though is that Satan can, and does, attack us and influence our minds, our thoughts, our beliefs, and our actions. Hopefully they can comprehend that we are all involved in spiritual warfare, every one of us, whether we like it or not, whether we even realize it or not. And while you may be fully aware that Satan’s demons are the culprits behind these attacks, some are still not at a point to wrap their minds around that and that’s ok, so long as they are aware that Satan is on the attack.

To help them understand, here is an example that I heard and wrote down some time back.

Imagine a soldier on a battlefield. He can't see or hear any enemies and therefore he doesn't believe that an enemy is out there, so he wanders around without his weapons, not carrying out his assigned duties, completely defenseless and vulnerable, stumbling into the enemy's camp without even being aware of it. The enemy doesn't care that the soldier was ignorant to his presence or if he was unarmed and unaware. The enemy is going to take advantage of the unaware target and attack!!

We can all quickly realize that soldier wasn't going to last long, yet that is precisely the way that many of us live. We don't know that there is a war being fought in the spiritual domain, we don't understand that there is an enemy of pure evil out there and that we are God's soldiers in this spiritual battle. We don't understand that God has an assigned place for each and every Christian or that we have all been given spiritual gifts and spiritual weapons (defensive and offensive) for engaging in the battle in the heavenlies while we are here on earth.

As I mentioned earlier, so many of us walk around in a fog, but God wants us to have unclouded minds that see what goes on around us! In fact, our greatest strategy against Satan is clarity of mind, accuracy of perception and awareness!!! And all of these are available to us through God's word and prayer.

I was....Wrong

I was wrong.  Deep down I knew I was wrong...but I did it anyway.  And this wasn’t the first time...I’ve done it before. 

Justifications swirled around in my mind, muffling the little voice that was trying to remind me to do the right thing.  Man, those self-righteous justifications sure are loud...aren’t they? 

Have you ever wondered why the voice of reason - the voice of truth - never seems as loud as those arrogant, sanctimonious voices that often drown it out?  Have you ever wondered where that subtle voice comes from and why it doesn’t just shout at you:

“Hey...dummy...yeah, you... STOP THAT!” 

Why does that voice speak so quietly when so many other voices are barking loudly around you?  I have asked that question - many times.  Always after the fact, I hate to say.  The catch is, if I listen to the right voice I don’t have to ask myself that question afterwards.  Yet somehow I find myself asking it time and again.

Have you ever done something that you were pretty sure was wrong, but you justified your actions to yourself?  Hard to drown your own voice out, right?  I know you have.  We all have.  It goes with the territory of being human.  We make mistakes.  Sometimes big ones.  Sometimes we do things that we feel like God couldn’t possibly forgive us for.  But He will, He does, He has.  If we have truly gone before God in prayer and confessed our sins, asked Him to forgive them truly from the heart, then we are fully forgiven....no questions asked!!! 

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)

Don’t you wish it were that easy with people?

I know from personal experience that sometimes it doesn’t seem so simple to us.  We wrestle with those voices in our head that say God couldn’t possibly forgive us for something so horrible.  Those voices are liars!  Those voices are Satan-sent and want nothing more than to see you suffer and not TRUST GOD.  It’s at this point that I personally would like to say:

“Hey...dummy...yeah, you... STOP THAT!”   

(ok...I really don’t think you’re a dummy...just trying to make a point)

No matter what you have done, no matter how horrid you think it is, no matter how repulsive it truly is...God has already forgiven it if you’ve already sincerely asked.  What you are dealing with now is guilt.  Guilt is a powerful weapon in Satan’s arsenal.  I should know...I’ve been attacked with it over and over.  But God’s forgiveness trumps any weapon Satan has - every time.  You only need to have faith in God’s forgiveness.

If you aren’t sure how to come humbly, yet boldly before God to ask for His forgiving grace...keep reading.  As always, He has already given us the instructions.

“Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” (Hebrews 4:16)

God wants us to approach His throne with boldness...boldness He bestowed in us when we became His children.

“Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

Guilt is nothing more than heavy chains Satan wants to keep draping around your neck as he pushes you closer and closer to the edge, hoping to push you over and watch you drown as they anchor you beneath the dark waters.  Matthew 11:28 tells us that God doesn’t want us to carry that weight around.  He wants our burden to be light.  He wants us to give that burden to Him.  Hand over the chains...they don’t belong to you anymore.

“Cast your burden on the Lord, and He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved.” (Psalm 55:22)

Jesus has already shouldered the sin, He has already paid the price of forgiveness, He has already bore your guilt as His own...He has done all of this through the blood that He shed for all of us on Calvary.

“In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace.” (Ephesians 1:7)

We still have to make amends for our wrongs, we will still have to face the consequences of whatever our actions bring, but that doesn’t mean God will never bless us again.  It does mean we are forgiven and we can go on knowing that by His blood, we are forgiven, we are healed of our transgressions, we are new in the eyes of Christ, all of our sins are passed away and our slate is wiped clean.  

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away, behold, all things have become new.” (2 Corinthians 5:17)

“He has delivered us from the power of darkness and conveyed us into the kingdom of the Son of His love, in whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins.” (Colossians 1:13-14)

Are You WEAK Enough?

I can bench press 200 pounds.  I once punched out a guy with one shot.  I am a champion arm wrestler.  And my mind...my mind is sooo strong...I remember everything I see and hear

....as if!!! 

I’m sure you have already figured out...I am NONE of those things.  What I am...is a note taker.   I’d forget things if I weren’t.  The catch is...I often will stick my notes in places and then forget them.  Trust me; the irony isn’t lost on me.  Anyway, just this morning I was thumbing through the pages of my Bible when I found some notes stuck between them.  In the name of complete disclosure there are easily 30+ bulletins from church with as many notes as will fit scribbled on them stuck between the pages of my Bible.  So finding notes isn’t that difficult...but this page of notes was different.  It wasn’t a bulletin.  It was a small 4x6 sheet torn from a notebook.  There weren’t forty or more sentences penned to this piece of paper.  No, there were literally five sentences written below a Bible passage that I had to look up again.  What really struck me though was the following sentence.

The heart of prayer is weakness; strong people don’t tend to pray.

Ouch...now that’s a bit of a slap in the face.  I have always thought of myself as a strong person.  Not physically, like the things listed earlier, so much as mentally and emotionally.  In my life, I’ve been through a lot and mentally/emotionally I’d say I’m pretty strong.   But strength isn’t what God expects of us.  Because when we are strong...we try to do things ourselves.  We don’t rely on God for strength.   I’m fairly certain that’s what I must have been thinking when I wrote those words down.  Strong people don’t tend to pray.  

There have been many times in my life that turmoil raged and I tried to handle it myself.  Over and over I have learned that until I fall to my knees, broken before God, knowing that I can’t do it all myself...I won’t be able to do it at all.  I am weak.  My strength alone is not enough...ever.  God wants us to see that.  I Corinthians 1:27 tells us “...God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty.”  That includes us...thinking we are mighty.  Thinking we can do it alone.  Then along comes God’s strength and puts our puny “might” to shame. 

Personally, I have recently been dealing with some health issues.  Something I have been fortunate enough in my life to never have to deal with.  And I tried to handle it myself.  I went to the doctor.  I tried homeopathic remedies (which I prefer)...neither worked.  Until one day, only a few days ago, I lost it!!!  I was alone at home and I fell to my knees by my bed crying.  I didn’t have to say a word aloud...God heard my heart crying out to him.  Now, here I am, merely five days later and a remedy I had been trying previously suddenly is working.  I gave it to God.  I wasn’t strong enough on my own.  Why didn’t I read II Corinthians 12:9-10 earlier?  

“ And He said to me (“me” being Paul), ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.’  Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  Therefore I take pleasure in my infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Paul was actually thankful for his persecution.  Even though he had prayed God would remove his “thorn in the flesh” but God did not.  He simple told Paul “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.”  

I thank God for my weakness.  Without it, I would still be suffering in my own “strength.”  It isn’t just about physical strength and weakness though.  We suffer in hundreds of ways every day, ways that could be unbearable without God. 

Hebrews 11:32-34   “And what more shall I say?  For the time would fail me to tell of Gideon and Barak and Sampson and Jepthah, also of David and Samuel and the prophets: who through faith subdues kingdoms, worked righteousness, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, quenched the violence of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, out of weakness were made strong, became valiant on battle, turned to flight the armies of the aliens”

So ask yourself...are you weak enough to let go and let God?  For in weakness...we become strong.  It isn’t until we recognize our own weakness that accompanies this flesh that we are able to find our strength in Christ.